Questioning spiritual beliefs can be terrifying. I know from experience. When I started I was so scared that I would make a mistake, lose faith, lose God; lose the foundations I’d built my life on. And there was reason to be scared. My life did change. But going into this questioning process there were 2 ideas that have (so far) held up to scrutiny. These 2 things helped alleviate my fear and allowed me to ask the hard questions.
Everyone has to work out their life and their faith from different directions and in different ways. This isn’t a be all, end all. But if you’re starting to ask hard questions, I hope maybe this can help.
1. God is true
If there is anything worth describing as God, that God has to be true. If that God is not true, then it is, by definition, a false god. This may seem obvious, but there can be a lot of pressure in some Christian circles to avoid certain kinds of questions or scholarship or science or any number of other topics. If God is True these things are not off limits.
Since God has to be true, seeking truth in good faith is an act of faithfulness to God. Even wholeheartedly questioning God’s existence with no assumption of the answer is an act of faithfulness. And when evidence on one point or another gives reasons to doubt, the most faithful thing to do is doubt.
2. God is love
If there is any god worth serving, that God is love. If you need to question what “love” is, great. If you need to question what “God” is, I totally understand. Why this point is so important to me boils down to this:
We make mistakes looking for truth all the time. But any halfway decent parent who sees their little kid trying to be faithful, trying to show that parent love and respect, will forgive the kid any mistakes made in the attempt. The love of God has to be at least that. Otherwise some parents would be as good as God or better, and if that’s the case, what’s the point?
3. (Bonus) Faith is Faithful
Here’s one more thought that I discovered in the process: I find it helpful to not look at faith as some academic belief. Like, it’s not a test where you circle true or false. Faith is about being faithful. You asking honest questions and demanding honest answers is you being faithful. I’ve seen many people with strong belief but little faith. I’ve seen many other people with little to no belief but vibrant faith.
My last tip is try not to do this alone. I’m jealous of how many online communities there are now that didn’t exist when I started. But even better, if you can find safe people to talk to in person that don’t require you to believe anything in particular, that’s even better. A licensed therapist can be great too, if you can afford it.
You are brave. You are showing great courage! You are being faithful. And you are not alone. I’m proud of you, and all of us who have gone before you are with you cheering you on. May you be blessed, and may you find peace.
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